YouTube transcript
Video ID: 37RZBsP6zHs
Language: en
Captions: auto-generated

[0:00] I literally slept in the fetal position
[0:02] the whole 2 and 1/2 weeks conserving my
[0:05] energy, covering myself up just so that
[0:07] I don't freeze to death. Sometimes you
[0:09] need that discomfort to come in to
[0:11] rattle things up so you can actually
[0:13] learn. I went to every single counsel at
[0:16] embassy I could find in town. I was 17
[0:18] years of age. I didn't know any better.
[0:20] I didn't even speak English well. I
[0:22] didn't even know what to ask really. It
[0:25] just got under my skin that I will show
[0:27] you. I am already who I am. I wasn't
[0:29] like a depressed fullest person. I lived
[0:31] on $5 a day and I was pretty happy. Had
[0:34] friends around me. I was doing things
[0:35] that I like doing. I'm happy. I'm I'm
[0:38] content. I'm abundant. Everything else
[0:40] that happens is icing on the cake. Hey
[0:42] everybody, I'm Devin Kums. I'm a CPA MBA
[0:45] and I work at Google Cloud where I lead
[0:47] multi-billion dollar deal negotiations
[0:49] as the financial expert. But for fun, I
[0:52] also do this podcast, Ambition Aligned,
[0:54] where I try to find purpose-driven
[0:56] professionals making real impact with
[0:58] what they're doing in their lives.
[1:00] Please watch, please subscribe, and I
[1:02] think we're going to get a ton out of
[1:03] today's episode. You have such a
[1:04] fascinating story about coming and
[1:07] working from the ground up in
[1:09] leadership. I'd love it if you just
[1:10] could share a little bit of your story
[1:12] with everyone. Yeah, Devon, thanks for
[1:14] inviting first of all and
[1:16] and I think this is part of my story is
[1:20] how we both got connected, right? It's I
[1:24] was in California 3 weeks ago, met a few
[1:27] people, spoke at the investor event and
[1:30] made a lot of friends and somebody said,
[1:33] "Hey, can you help with connecting some
[1:35] people?" I connected that person to a
[1:37] few people and she connected me to you.
[1:42] And so this is something so fundamental
[1:46] to life and career and
[1:50] leadership and and just the goodness of
[1:53] the world is how do we connect with each
[1:56] other? And I was in a event this week in
[2:00] Atlanta, Women in Tech, and one of my
[2:03] friend wrote a book called Nobody is
[2:06] Self-Made. And and it it it goes back to
[2:10] the idea of the
[2:12] village. Seen, unseen, known, unknown,
[2:15] people, events make us who we are. And
[2:20] so this is a great starting point for me
[2:22] to say all of those things that has
[2:26] happened in my life probably your life
[2:28] and everybody's else's life is
[2:31] how you know nature or coincidence we
[2:34] are together talking today as for my
[2:37] story you know it's a story that I think
[2:40] a lot of immigrants around the world not
[2:42] just in the United States I think around
[2:45] the world can relate to and anybody who
[2:47] is resilient who is perceive was who was
[2:51] persevered in their life will relate to
[2:54] and and so my story began very
[2:58] briefly. I was very happy growing up in
[3:00] India. Never had any intention of
[3:03] leaving India
[3:04] ever. And just so happened that I lost
[3:09] my eyesight in 11th
[3:12] grade thinking about playing. I was
[3:14] playing practicing cricket at one of the
[3:17] top clubs in India. One of my clubmate
[3:20] played for India. So the greats of India
[3:23] played in that field and I had those
[3:25] dreams as well. So going from a guy who
[3:28] was thinking of playing cricket at the
[3:30] highest level at one time to completely
[3:33] going down totally losing my confidence
[3:36] to say okay now my life is gone. You
[3:40] know I'm not going anywhere else now. I
[3:42] can't see. And then my sister became my
[3:45] eyes. One of my sister would start to
[3:47] read books for me while getting ready
[3:49] for our 12th grade board exam. And I had
[3:53] a pro uh teacher. Many teachers helped.
[3:56] One particular teacher, chemistry
[3:58] teacher was absolutely phenomenal. He
[4:02] not only taught us in the
[4:04] classroom in the middle of the night, he
[4:06] would come and knock at the door. You're
[4:09] and I'm not kidding. Midnight, 1:00,
[4:12] 3:00 in the morning. I don't know when
[4:13] he slept and he did that for all his
[4:16] students. We had 72 in my class. He did
[4:19] that for everybody to get us ready for
[4:21] the final exams. And and the result was
[4:23] that out of 72, 70 of us got honors in
[4:27] chemistry. Whereas in biology and
[4:29] physics and math, it wasn't the same
[4:31] thing. I mean very few physics was the
[4:34] worst. I think three or four guys got
[4:36] honors in physics out of 72. So there
[4:39] was a direct correlation and imagine
[4:41] you're always learning those early days
[4:44] of what he did for us how he showed
[4:48] confidence in us before we knew how to
[4:51] have confidence in
[4:53] ourselves. I never forgot those lessons
[4:56] his dedication to his students. His
[4:59] absolute dedication there was nothing.
[5:01] We were not paying him extra. No
[5:03] government was not paying him. We went
[5:05] to a school where the fee was 10 cents a
[5:07] month. Okay, it wasn't a fancy school.
[5:10] It was a government school. We had
[5:12] nothing fancy in our school. All of us
[5:14] came from very ordinary families. And
[5:18] so why I'm sharing this is
[5:21] because all of us had a foundation that
[5:24] we are built on. From the time you are
[5:26] born, even before you are born, your
[5:27] genes have something in you. So you're
[5:30] not your glass is not half full. You
[5:33] come with something. It's not just about
[5:35] money and material. And so those are the
[5:38] kind of people and then that led to when
[5:41] I was finishing finished my 12th
[5:43] grade. We were sitting in our house one
[5:46] day in New Delhi. House was packed with
[5:49] relatives, friends, just everybody
[5:52] hanging
[5:52] out. And one of my relative out of the
[5:56] blue looks at me and my sister and said,
[5:58] "You two, we can't do anything without
[6:01] my help. You won't be able to go
[6:03] anywhere in the world without my help."
[6:04] out of the blue. He had never said
[6:06] anything like it. His tone wasn't
[6:09] good. And there was a pin drop
[6:11] silence. I didn't argue. I didn't
[6:15] defend. Everybody was quiet. It just
[6:17] that moment just passed. But mentally, I
[6:20] made a
[6:21] decision. And from the next day on, I
[6:25] was in New Delhi. I went to every single
[6:28] consulate embassy I could find in town.
[6:31] I was 17 years of age. I didn't know any
[6:33] better. I didn't even speak English.
[6:35] Well, I didn't even know what to ask
[6:37] really. It just got under my skin that I
[6:40] will show you. And I guess as a
[6:43] 17year-old, it it touched my ego. Well,
[6:47] can we pause there for a second cuz I
[6:48] think this there's so much to unpers
[6:53] do you think that's what was that
[6:55] relative coming from a good place? Like
[6:57] they're challenging you. Do you think
[6:58] that it sounds like that was such a
[7:00] catalyst moment or do you think you just
[7:02] took that in stride and made something
[7:04] good out of it yourself?
[7:06] I don't know you know where he came from
[7:09] cuz knowing him prior to that nothing
[7:12] like that had happened everybody loved
[7:14] him but he used to work for the Russian
[7:17] embassy in in New Delhi and in those
[7:21] days three to 400 Indian students would
[7:24] go abroad every year to study different
[7:27] things all expense
[7:28] paid so I think there was this thing in
[7:32] his head
[7:33] that he's very important me. He could
[7:37] help people or not help people. And I
[7:41] had no interest in going. I could care
[7:43] less. My sister wanted to be a doctor,
[7:45] so she had some interest. But I don't
[7:48] think so we had ever we had ever really
[7:51] talked about it. So I still don't know
[7:54] why he said what he said in the tone he
[7:56] said, but that changed my life. Stuff
[7:59] with you? Yeah. Sounds like your skin.
[8:01] It just stuck with me. Just changed my
[8:02] life. Wow. until what happened next? I'm
[8:05] so curious. Okay. So, obviously for the
[8:09] next one month, I'm visiting every
[8:11] embassy counseling. In those days,
[8:14] security was not the way it is today.
[8:16] So, it was fairly easy for somebody to
[8:19] see a young person asking they would let
[8:22] you in. It wasn't too much of a
[8:24] bureaucracy. And in that process,
[8:26] somebody asked me to go meet the head of
[8:28] US education foundation in uh in in New
[8:32] Delhi. So I went to see her and she was
[8:36] a fantastic lady. We talked for three
[8:38] hours in a swing in this beautiful
[8:41] Victorian style house. And she listened,
[8:44] she guided and she told me that
[8:49] uh do well in India since your family
[8:52] doesn't have money to send you abroad
[8:54] and then apply for graduate school.
[8:56] Hopefully you'll get assistantship or
[8:58] things like that, teaching, research and
[9:00] that will open the door. I took that
[9:03] message to heart. Never told anybody.
[9:05] Just locked it inside my heart. And next
[9:09] four years I was in college. I worked
[9:10] hard. I wrote to hundreds of schools
[9:12] around the world. Um my room became a
[9:15] library on campus. Anybody wanted to go
[9:18] anywhere in the world. Literally would
[9:20] come and say, "Rabbi, I want to go here.
[9:22] Can you tell me something?" And I would
[9:23] say, "Yes, this school, that school,
[9:25] this program, that program." And 20, 30
[9:28] days after I graduated, I was in
[9:30] Wisconsin. Oh wow. And and all of this I
[9:34] say to say that I didn't change my life
[9:40] just hoping for
[9:42] something. I changed my life
[9:45] by really um making
[9:49] decisions having
[9:51] some developing some sense of faith that
[9:55] this is going to work. Like when I went
[9:57] to the US embassy for the uh visa, the
[10:01] guy looked at me and said, "Mr. Pash,
[10:03] you are 22 years of age, if I give you a
[10:05] visa and what if you don't come back to
[10:07] India?" And I looked at him right in his
[10:10] eyes. And I paused for a minute. I
[10:12] looked down, looked up and I said, "When
[10:14] you were 22, did you know what you're
[10:16] going to do?" And he said, "No." I said,
[10:18] "Then isn't that an unfair question to
[10:21] ask me?" And at that point, he we had no
[10:25] other questions. He simply said, "Come
[10:27] back at 3:00, pick your
[10:30] visa." Yes. So to me, people had coached
[10:35] me to say this or that to different
[10:38] answer like just like you go to an
[10:40] interview, people had coached me to say
[10:42] certain things and I've always been the
[10:45] person who say no, I'm going to be very
[10:48] much what is in my heart and soul. And
[10:50] that's what I spoke about. And as life
[10:54] is, you will see when you put in the
[10:58] effort, things just fall in place. I
[11:00] didn't have money to buy the plane
[11:02] ticket. I stayed with my best friend
[11:04] from 12th grade. I had not seen him in 4
[11:06] years. We talked all night. His brother
[11:09] overheard our conversation. Next
[11:11] morning, we are having breakfast. His
[11:14] brother, who I knew, but I didn't really
[11:15] know. I never talked to him. He was much
[11:17] older. He comes and writes a blank check
[11:20] to me saying Ravi you've done everything
[11:21] in your power. You are going to go if
[11:24] you get the visa. Here's the check for
[11:26] your plane
[11:27] ticket. I was just dumbfounded like you
[11:31] don't know how to return the money. So I
[11:32] didn't ask you to return the money and
[11:35] that's how we bought the plane ticket.
[11:37] So all this to say
[11:41] village
[11:43] network putting your foot forward next
[11:46] step next step don't worry about the 100
[11:48] step the very next step keep doing what
[11:51] you got to do
[11:54] and be humble about it and recognize
[11:57] people who have done things in your life
[12:00] it's not just what we do okay let me let
[12:03] me stop you there I want I want to tell
[12:04] you the story but I you're peing some
[12:06] really interest for me because it's
[12:07] something I've been battling with for a
[12:08] while and I'm curious on your
[12:09] perspective on it and so you know like
[12:11] Maslo's hierarchy this the standard it's
[12:14] like it kind of everyone's based off of
[12:16] this visual representation of you need
[12:19] to survive you need to get resources and
[12:21] housing and then eventually you start
[12:23] working towards self-actualization or
[12:25] like building meaningful relationships
[12:27] and all these other aspects in your life
[12:28] that's kind of beyond the survival and
[12:30] what I'm hearing when I've talked to
[12:32] people like yourself do you like those
[12:34] meaningful relationships
[12:36] comes before all of that a lot of the
[12:38] time and it's going to I'm going to get
[12:39] your sense of that of you didn't have
[12:42] the money to go on the plane like on the
[12:44] on the trip you didn't have the money to
[12:46] go consider going to college to learn
[12:48] all of these things you but you had the
[12:51] people around you to support you and
[12:53] fill that need and even deeper than that
[12:56] is like your authenticity your character
[12:59] is what I like to think of it is you you
[13:02] had your values your guiding values and
[13:03] your personality you stuck true to that
[13:06] and like that example of someone getting
[13:08] under your skin, right? They got under
[13:10] your skin because you knew yourself well
[13:12] and you knew like that that that was a
[13:14] challenge to you rather than someone
[13:16] else might have taken that as an admit
[13:18] an admission of defeat, but you took
[13:20] that as a challenge because you knew you
[13:22] wanted something greater. And so I'm
[13:24] just wonder I'm curious on your thoughts
[13:25] on that or maybe how people can apply it
[13:28] in this like technological world on the
[13:30] importance of connections and character.
[13:35] I think as I have said and I think my
[13:38] story stresses that
[13:40] is from the time you're
[13:43] born you have been helped
[13:47] by all kinds of people and all kinds of
[13:52] circumstances and in the world we live
[13:55] in today where we are asked to be on the
[13:57] go go go every second. Prove yourself
[14:01] every second. Show it to the world every
[14:05] second. Where are you in that
[14:08] noise? I think this is something we have
[14:11] to learn very early in our life. And
[14:13] it's not something I can teach anybody.
[14:15] It's not something anybody probably can
[14:17] teach anybody. All it is is how your
[14:20] family, your environment, your community
[14:24] was at today's India is not the India I
[14:26] grew up in. I am not so sure today's
[14:29] India even values some of the things I
[14:32] have to say. Um so I
[14:35] think more than trying
[14:38] to you know the idea of
[14:40] self-actualization things like that part
[14:43] of it is I think we put too much value
[14:45] on individual how important I am in this
[14:51] universe we are really a very small
[14:57] spec ask an
[14:59] ant does not care whether you survive or
[15:03] An ant will survive this planet more
[15:05] than a human being would. And this
[15:08] planet will survive whether I survive or
[15:10] not. So I think we have to keep a
[15:13] perspective very early whether you have
[15:15] young kids whether you are growing up is
[15:18] to understand the perspective that we
[15:20] are a very small spec in this global
[15:23] world. We have a very limited finite
[15:27] time to learn, grow, contribute in a
[15:31] very finite time. We don't know the end
[15:33] date, but we have a very finite time.
[15:36] Within that finite time, what can I
[15:38] learn, grow fast enough that I can also
[15:42] have joy in doing that? Part of it is
[15:45] not the money, it's the joy. The example
[15:47] I'll give you is very, very simple that
[15:49] I've been going through recently. I lost
[15:51] my job in April last year. I was writing
[15:54] my book. I focused on my book next. My
[15:57] question was what's the most powerful
[15:59] thing I can do for me today and what
[16:02] gives me joy? I said book is something
[16:05] that'll give me joy because it I loved
[16:07] it. So I finished the book. The next
[16:10] thing was okay people asked me Ravi can
[16:12] you do coaching and mentoring and you
[16:14] know I love I love all of that but more
[16:18] than that I love public speaking.
[16:20] So when I was debating and I in fact
[16:22] made a class I dropped all of that and
[16:25] said what is the one def it wasn't the
[16:27] which will make me most money my
[16:30] definition was which will give me the
[16:32] most joy and public speaking gives me
[16:35] the most joy because I can impact I can
[16:38] connect with more people than
[16:41] just coaching one-on-one and that's
[16:44] where I came to that conclusion that I'm
[16:46] going to drop all that I'm going to
[16:48] focus on public speaking because that
[16:50] gives me joy and if I am joyful I am
[16:53] hoping that it brings joy to other
[16:55] people cuz you cannot a dead person
[16:58] cannot make another person alive. Yeah.
[17:00] Okay. So this is so fascinating because
[17:02] what I love what about what you're
[17:04] talking is money has not really been a
[17:06] part of any of that equation. Like you
[17:08] lost your job and unfortunately I'm
[17:10] sorry to hear that but you sound like
[17:12] you made something better out of it but
[17:13] you didn't go into survival mode and say
[17:15] oh I need to get more income. I need to
[17:16] get something a steady paycheck. He
[17:18] said, "No, I'm going to go write this
[17:20] story." And then after you wrote that,
[17:21] you realized I I really want actually to
[17:24] public speak instead of doing all this
[17:25] coaching. I want to have more of an
[17:26] impact. And none of that I heard I need
[17:28] money. And I just want to stress for
[17:30] people or something I've realized like I
[17:32] was homeless 15 years ago. And I I I try
[17:36] to stress this to everyone. I wasn't
[17:38] like a depressed homeless person. I was
[17:40] I lived on like $5 a day and I was
[17:42] pretty apt. Had friends around me. I was
[17:44] doing things that I like doing. Um I
[17:47] went to the gym. I was healthy and the
[17:49] money didn't need to exist for me to
[17:52] pursue joy. And while I was pursuing the
[17:54] joy and financial freedom, I'd say
[17:56] honestly, the money made it worse. It's
[17:58] easier to get trapped by the money and
[18:00] distracted by it, but you really don't
[18:02] need it. And I see that as a bigger
[18:03] problem in life now. So, I just want to
[18:05] stress that and want to get kind of your
[18:06] thoughts on how does money play into all
[18:08] of this. And were you ever kind of lured
[18:11] by money away from you joy?
[18:14] Well, so money gives you options. Okay,
[18:17] money won't make you happy. If you're
[18:19] not a happy person, nothing will make
[18:21] you
[18:22] happy. It just it just accentuates that.
[18:25] You know, I remember when I was driving
[18:27] from Wisconsin, University of Wisconsin
[18:29] to Idaho. I was driving in this 1977 old
[18:33] rundown, rusty Malibu Classic. No AC,
[18:36] nothing. I slept in the car the whole
[18:38] time. I took seven days to drive. I
[18:40] talked to all kinds of people on my
[18:42] trip. The reason I'm saying that is I
[18:44] had absolutely zero dollars in my pocket
[18:46] at the time. There's some good people
[18:48] that I met in Wisconsin. They became
[18:51] like my extended family and they gave me
[18:54] like this camera you see behind my back
[18:57] and a ice box and a little bit of money.
[19:00] The local community gave me that and and
[19:04] I kept that money and the food that was
[19:06] in that ice box. I had to kind of ration
[19:09] it to last the seven days that I arrived
[19:12] in Idaho. But I had the best time of my
[19:15] life. I slept in the car. I talked to
[19:17] all kinds of people. I took the back
[19:19] roads. I had never driven in the
[19:21] country. I was looking for what's next.
[19:24] What's next? This excitement about
[19:26] life. And so this is a difference of how
[19:32] you look at life too. For me it was
[19:35] discovery,
[19:37] adventure. What's next in my life? I'm
[19:40] 22, 23 years of age and I'm in a totally
[19:42] new
[19:44] place. But today I was able to write the
[19:47] book last not 6 months. I don't want
[19:50] people to they have to relate. I've been
[19:52] working for I've been here 36 years.
[19:54] I've worked very hard. So I had saved
[19:57] some money and I still have a family and
[19:59] mortgage to pay. because of that it
[20:02] allowed me to write the book in the last
[20:04] 6 months when if I earlier back in
[20:09] 2007208 I lost my job for a year we
[20:12] didn't have a penny I had to work find a
[20:14] job I couldn't be writing a book at that
[20:16] time so your your circumstance change in
[20:20] life but I've never put money as the
[20:23] criteria for success it's never an if
[20:26] then else statement if I make X I will
[20:29] be this if I do why I will be this. No,
[20:32] I am already who I am. I'm happy. I'm
[20:35] content. I'm
[20:36] abundant. Everything else that happens
[20:39] is icing on the
[20:40] cake. More effort you put in, more
[20:42] people you help, more places you go,
[20:44] more experiences you have, you are
[20:46] simply accentuating who you already are.
[20:49] I love this. And so this is where I feel
[20:52] like people get too trapped nowadays is
[20:54] so many people are focused on the money
[20:57] like these fire movements. You hear a
[20:59] lot of like how do I So I will tell you
[21:03] I'm part of a fire movement. I actually
[21:05] run a fire class in Atlanta. Okay, tell
[21:08] me more. So but here's the thing about
[21:11] that. In the fire moment when I am
[21:14] talking to the people I'm like
[21:16] look yes you need the money but don't
[21:18] lose your life. Never lose the
[21:21] perspective of the life. Look, we cannot
[21:23] be we have to be smart you know we have
[21:27] to be smart and practical as well in
[21:29] life. So while you are on your fire
[21:33] journey it fire journey to me is very
[21:35] simple right in in America we have been
[21:37] sold this good of I think a false
[21:40] narrative so to speak that everybody has
[21:43] to have a house everybody has to have a
[21:46] nice car and everybody has to be able to
[21:49] spend whatever they feel like at
[21:50] whatever time whether they can afford it
[21:53] or not all the Amazon boxes at any
[21:57] time has made it easy we just have to
[21:59] click once and it shows up at our door
[22:01] like in few hours sometime. That's a
[22:04] really false narrative that has put
[22:06] majority of Americans who can't even
[22:08] afford $1,000 in emergency today. And
[22:11] this is not just today's news, right?
[22:13] For years and years we are listening to
[22:14] this stat statistics. Most people in
[22:17] America 70 60% cannot afford a
[22:20] $1,000 emergency.
[22:23] I think that's pathetic in a country
[22:26] with the resources we have with the you
[22:28] know the biggest resource I tell people
[22:30] who come here new and who have lived
[22:32] here all their life there's hardly a
[22:35] country in the world where there is a
[22:36] public library in every corner of this
[22:39] country and you know how powerful that
[22:42] is that is one of the most powerful
[22:44] thing that people ignore in this it's
[22:46] free first of all it's free you go get a
[22:50] card and in today's world if you want to
[22:53] study
[22:54] anything, anything, you can go to a
[22:56] public library and become somebody from
[23:00] there. We ignore it. We think it's only
[23:02] for people, you know, some people. I
[23:06] think there's a there's a guy Ron who
[23:09] said one
[23:10] time, most people who make 250 or above
[23:13] tend to have a library at home. That
[23:16] should tell you
[23:17] something. Okay? There is a lot of
[23:21] wisdom. No one person knows everything.
[23:24] Everything that has to be said about
[23:26] being successful, about life, about
[23:27] leadership, health, love has been said
[23:30] and written by somebody. All we are
[23:33] doing even today is you and I are
[23:37] speaking or talking about something in
[23:39] our own perspective in our we are giving
[23:41] a spin to it in our own ways but we are
[23:43] not talking about anything that the
[23:45] humanity doesn't know. The quote I
[23:48] really like, there's no original
[23:50] thought, there's only original action.
[23:54] Yes. So this is so I think it's money is
[23:57] important because right now if I have to
[24:00] help somebody in some place or I'm
[24:04] passionate about conservation or I want
[24:06] to help somebody with education or
[24:08] nutrition if I have the money and I have
[24:11] the connections and I have the desire
[24:13] and the energy to do it I am able to
[24:16] execute that
[24:18] easily. Even if you don't have money you
[24:20] can do it because that's where the
[24:22] resourcefulness comes in. I can talk to
[24:24] 10 people and say look here's the idea
[24:27] here's the game plan here's this and
[24:30] find some people who believe in those
[24:32] things and then you can execute it so
[24:34] money is important but it's not the
[24:36] thing that lets you it's your idea it's
[24:39] your energy it's your desire it's your
[24:41] commitment it's your really um you want
[24:44] to pour something in life for other
[24:46] people your life is for you but you
[24:49] really live the life for others and
[24:51] that's the mindset you have to have
[24:53] whether you live for your family or
[24:55] community or you're leading a team. You
[24:58] have to go with that mindset in in my
[25:00] point of view. Yeah. So, let me recap
[25:02] all that. We've covered so much ground
[25:03] and I want to get back to your story
[25:05] because time's going by way too fast.
[25:06] They talk to you for a couple hours. I
[25:08] need to buy you dinner. Um, so we
[25:12] covered some ground there of, you know,
[25:14] money is a tool and there are times in
[25:16] seasons in life where you need it like
[25:17] me when I had my daughter was born. Um,
[25:19] and you know, if you have no money in
[25:21] the banks and you need to provide for
[25:22] your family, that is a worthy goal, but
[25:24] it's not the end goal, right? At the end
[25:26] of the day, it's just a tool and you can
[25:29] do things like you or I did where you
[25:31] could live on like less than $5 a day,
[25:33] less than a dollar a day and have the
[25:35] generosity of others and have your life.
[25:39] The money isn't going to bring the joy.
[25:40] You have to find the joy within
[25:41] yourself. And we talk a bit about but
[25:44] it's not about yourself. It's about
[25:46] others. And there's a bit of aspect of
[25:49] that of like losing the ego to attach
[25:51] your joy by helping and serving others.
[25:53] And so I'm curious to learn more about
[25:56] how how that interplays into what your
[25:58] next step was as you're driving to
[25:59] Idaho. What what happened next?
[26:02] Well, so um you know, I ended up going
[26:04] to three graduate school in the US. I
[26:05] went to Wisconsin, Idaho, and then to
[26:07] North Carolina. And bottom line was that
[26:10] all these 9 years that took me from 88
[26:15] through
[26:16] 97. Um, it was a long 9 years. I didn't
[26:20] have a job. I didn't have money. I
[26:22] racked up 100,000 in debt. I didn't have
[26:26] money to eat food many times. I would go
[26:28] hungry. I would just drink water. And
[26:31] when no one was looking around on
[26:33] campus, I would um take the food and eat
[26:38] that food. And that's how I survived 9
[26:41] years. Many many times I the worst was
[26:43] the first Christmas in
[26:45] Wisconsin when everybody went home. I
[26:49] was living in this big old 200-year-old
[26:52] home with several students. Everybody
[26:54] was local. They all went home and nobody
[26:58] really invited me to go with them. And
[27:01] um I had no money,
[27:04] $0. First winter, -60 -70° chill. I
[27:09] didn't have a bed. I had a mattress on
[27:11] the floor. And it was freezing cold. And
[27:16] so ne next 2 and 1/2 weeks, whatever the
[27:19] time was for winter
[27:21] vacation, I think I had a couple of
[27:25] pennies. I showed up somehow, I don't
[27:27] know how, to a local grocery store.
[27:30] and I was freezing to death. I told the
[27:32] guy, "Look, if you have bread or food
[27:35] that you're throwing, can you give it to
[27:37] me?"
[27:39] And he gave it to me. And uh so there
[27:43] was once uh one loaf of bread, one or
[27:46] two apple, and I literally slept in the
[27:49] fetal position the whole 2 and 1/2
[27:52] weeks, conserving my energy, covering
[27:55] myself up just so that I don't freeze to
[27:57] death. And all I did was I drank water,
[28:00] had that one loaf of bread and two or
[28:02] three apples. That was a defining moment
[28:06] as I look back to it. You know, coming
[28:09] to America helped
[28:11] me discover
[28:13] me more than anything else is can I
[28:18] withstand this? Can I withstand that?
[28:20] Can I you know I had two interviews I
[28:22] went to early in my life in those nine
[28:24] years. No. Yes. In those nine years, one
[28:28] interview a guy walked me out within
[28:30] seconds of arriving there saying, "Mr.
[28:32] Pash, you don't have blue eyes, brown
[28:34] hair, you won't fit in." He just walked
[28:37] me out of the interview. And there was
[28:40] another interview which was the most
[28:41] strangest thing that I was referred by a
[28:45] guy who used to live in my neighborhood.
[28:47] His dad was a big shot in investment
[28:49] banking. So, he got me an interview. I
[28:52] walk in there and the guy goes, "You
[28:56] don't seem to have connections with
[28:58] people that have money, so you won't
[29:00] make it here." And that was the end of
[29:02] our interview.
[29:04] And then I got I write about these
[29:08] things in the book is in Idaho I had a
[29:10] accident where I ended up going to the
[29:13] police station where the local professor
[29:16] is the one who was involved in the
[29:19] accident and they tried to intimidate
[29:22] me and ask me very absurd questions
[29:26] about religion if I was
[29:30] Palestinian things like that. And I
[29:32] wrote a local I wrote a poem in the
[29:35] local newspaper next
[29:37] day doing all this stuff. All this to
[29:41] say
[29:42] that from the time we are born we slip,
[29:46] we
[29:47] fall, we tumble in our
[29:50] lives. We just have to learn to get up
[29:54] on our own or with the help of others.
[29:56] Look up. Have the flexibility,
[30:00] adaptability, move, keep your momentum
[30:02] going, keep your energy going. Energy is
[30:05] so important for me. Energy is
[30:07] everything. Without energy, we can't do
[30:09] anything in life. So doing things that
[30:11] gives you energy is absolutely. So
[30:15] people talk about burnout, right? So I
[30:17] kept something on my table to show you
[30:19] because I think it's at least from my
[30:21] vantage point, I
[30:23] think. Here is a magic circle. Okay.
[30:26] Right. It's a magic circle. Here's a
[30:30] stretch
[30:31] band. And here is a jump rope. Okay.
[30:37] Anywhere I go in the world, they are
[30:40] always with me. I can be at the airport.
[30:43] I can be in the hotel room. I can be in
[30:45] a parking lot. Doesn't
[30:47] matter. Again, everybody has to find
[30:49] their own thing. My point
[30:52] is this is the the physiology has to
[30:55] work for us.
[30:57] Life is not just a better. It's really
[31:00] is not for the faint of heart. It it
[31:03] demands a lot. In order for us to be
[31:05] able to do things, we have to take care
[31:07] of this this
[31:10] physiology. And how do you take care of
[31:12] that is by putting the right kind of
[31:15] nutrition, fuel, exercise, thinking,
[31:20] relationships, being in the nature. All
[31:23] of that put together becomes a package
[31:26] that you are. And when you walk that way
[31:30] and you carry yourself that
[31:33] way, I can tell you people who are
[31:36] around you are going to notice that. Not
[31:39] because you're trying to show them, but
[31:41] it is impossible for people not to
[31:43] notice that, wow, look at that person.
[31:46] That person has the energy. That person
[31:48] doesn't have the energy. You know, you
[31:50] go to Costco, you look at the cart. You
[31:52] don't have to know the person. If you
[31:55] have seen same person multiple times in
[31:57] Costco and you see whatever they buy,
[32:00] one person is buying all healthy food,
[32:02] another person is buying drinks and
[32:05] processed food, you can
[32:09] extrapolate to some extent what their
[32:12] life would be from the energy
[32:14] perspective, from health perspective
[32:16] down the road and how that changes our
[32:18] mindset. If I'm eating well and I'm
[32:21] feeling
[32:22] good, my words, my language, my
[32:26] action reflects
[32:29] that. I have that level of energy that I
[32:33] can radiate to other people.
[32:37] So those are some things I think has
[32:40] been the things I've learned as I have
[32:43] gotten older and also when I came here
[32:46] that was nobody that we had no I had no
[32:48] family nothing it was just humbling
[32:52] falling getting up learning failing
[32:54] again learning failing again and we are
[32:58] where we are there's so there's so much
[33:01] attack there man we did we got free for
[33:04] hours
[33:05] so a few things. I'm sorry you went
[33:08] through that. Oh, that's a tough went
[33:10] through the blanket. No, let me stop
[33:13] with that. I am not sorry for that
[33:15] because here is what I think is really
[33:19] important. We are all a rough
[33:23] diamond and it has to be chiseled and
[33:28] polished to make where you've become.
[33:30] And it is a lifelong process. So I never
[33:34] think I made it and I will never know
[33:36] cuz in this university of life that we
[33:38] live in you get the entrance of at the
[33:41] time of birth but you never graduate.
[33:43] You will never you will never graduate
[33:45] from this school because you'll never
[33:47] pass from this school. You'll never get
[33:49] a passing grade. You will die trying.
[33:52] You really will. Yeah. It's a province.
[33:54] Yeah. It's a fact. So this is why I
[33:58] don't think all these things may come
[34:00] across. Yes. I still get emotional about
[34:02] these things.
[34:03] But I don't know if without that I will
[34:05] be who I am today and you will be where
[34:09] you are if you were not
[34:11] homeless. Those are the foundational
[34:14] things foundation stone of our lives and
[34:16] I think we have to put it in the
[34:18] pedestal to say that taught me
[34:21] something. Yeah. And that's what I guess
[34:23] I I guess I I'm not sorry that you you
[34:27] went through it from the learning
[34:28] perspective. It's just being that
[34:29] there's a compassionate side of me
[34:30] that's I've been there. I remember how
[34:33] hard it was. I wasn't luckily I wasn't
[34:35] in Wisconsin. I was in California. So,
[34:37] never get that cold. Like, if you want
[34:39] to be homeless or in a tough spot,
[34:40] California is a better place to be. I
[34:42] got to tell you. Uh, but I I know what
[34:45] it's like to
[34:47] have people like I work at restaurants
[34:50] and I would get ridled afterwards
[34:52] because if someone didn't I worked at
[34:53] Red Lobster and I remember these I'll
[34:56] just say really heavy people would come
[34:58] in and eat all you could eat lobster and
[35:00] shrimp like fried shrimp and then when
[35:02] they throw they throw away half the
[35:03] lobster and I can hear what I was like
[35:05] just trying to make ends me and so if
[35:07] they threw it away I'd go eat it like if
[35:09] there was like half the lobster left I
[35:10] put it in the back and my manager came
[35:12] to me one It was
[35:15] ridicul. We don't eat the leftover food.
[35:17] I have no I have no family. I have no
[35:19] money. I mean debt, all this struggle.
[35:21] I'm just trying to save a few bucks
[35:23] here. He's like, "You want to lost your
[35:24] vibe?" And I just remember like feeling
[35:27] so shame, like so much shame having to
[35:29] go through that experience. But I also
[35:32] now know that that made me get so much
[35:34] strong. It's it made me who I am now
[35:37] where I don't need those fancy things.
[35:39] And if I see someone who needs a little
[35:41] extra something, I understand what
[35:42] they're going through at that time. And
[35:43] so I'm thankful for those memories. And
[35:45] I guess what I what I'm trying to get at
[35:47] here, and I'm I'm curious from your
[35:49] perspective,
[35:51] is how do we in this world where we're
[35:55] everyone wants more and wants comfort
[35:57] and stability. It seems like it's those
[36:00] moments that put us through the
[36:02] fire that get rid of the impurities.
[36:05] Really? I I got to say that when before
[36:08] I went through that, I was just a scummy
[36:11] teenage kid. I was still a young adult
[36:13] kid. Trying to figure out my way and be
[36:15] a musician and with big dreams. And
[36:17] putting me through that made me
[36:18] understand a bit more what it was like
[36:19] to be human. And maybe people try to shy
[36:23] away from that a little too much
[36:24] nowadays. Try to shy away from the pain
[36:26] and the hurt and the perseverance and or
[36:29] comfort. And it it's easier to lose your
[36:32] way. Um, and so yeah, I want to kind of
[36:34] tie that back into your story about I
[36:36] know we're running out of time. I'm
[36:37] curious on your thoughts on that and
[36:38] then I'd love some time for to talk
[36:40] about how that relates to your book like
[36:42] you going through all those ultimately
[36:44] manifested and and a lot of work went to
[36:47] writing into this book. So I'd love for
[36:48] you to talk a little bit of it.
[36:51] Yeah. So if I got you correct, I
[36:55] mean I think human beings are the same
[37:00] everywhere. We all have desires. We all
[37:03] have the need. And they are the same.
[37:05] They're not different. They may look
[37:08] different to people, but they're really
[37:10] the same. And I think Tony Robbins talks
[37:11] about it very eloquently. The six needs,
[37:14] right? Certaintity, need for certainty,
[37:17] need for uncertaintity, need for
[37:19] significance, need for significance and
[37:21] love, love and connection, and then the
[37:23] spiritual needs of contribution and
[37:26] growth. So this is universal. And I
[37:29] think how we fulfill those six
[37:32] things is the question and we all need
[37:35] all six of them. But it changes with our
[37:38] life and which phase of life we are in
[37:40] and we you may value XYZ more today than
[37:44] sometime else and wherever you are in
[37:46] your life's journey and I think there is
[37:50] always amazing people around the world
[37:52] in every part of the world. Look this
[37:54] idea of generosity, leadership,
[37:59] smartness,
[38:01] genius, it's a bell curve. It's all over
[38:04] the world. I think the difference is
[38:07] sometime the
[38:08] environment you know you have amazing
[38:11] people everywhere but the environment
[38:13] may not be conducive to what they are
[38:15] trying to do or what they need to do. So
[38:18] I cannot ask a kid in Afghanistan to
[38:21] dream of. I can always ask him to dream
[38:24] but the challenge is in the environment
[38:26] he or she is
[38:27] in is so different from the time they
[38:30] are born to a kid who grew up in
[38:33] Atlanta. There's just no comparison, you
[38:36] know. Now, this is where I I think you
[38:39] and I would tell if you're talking to a
[38:41] school or university
[38:43] is we all complain at times, but really
[38:46] if you live in Atlanta, today's
[38:50] Atlanta and you are poor even, you still
[38:54] have so many things available to you
[38:58] that most people in the world cannot
[39:00] even imagine. You actively Oh my
[39:04] lord. Yes. I mean it it is just there is
[39:08] parks I can walk in the park a clean
[39:11] park nobody's shooting at me I'm safe
[39:15] things like that so I think it's always
[39:18] about the context it's always about the
[39:20] perspective you know somebody is richer
[39:22] than who somebody is better than who
[39:24] it's a contextual issue but at the end
[39:27] of the day who really
[39:29] cares like
[39:32] who cares that person who you're judging
[39:34] yourself against where you're saying,
[39:36] "Oh, I wish I had more of that stuff."
[39:38] That same person isn't looking at you.
[39:40] They're looking at the person that has
[39:41] more stuff than they and they're saying,
[39:43] "I wish I had." No, no, everyone's
[39:45] looking at the next person who doesn't
[39:46] care about the others, right? It's
[39:48] ridiculous.
[39:49] And that's where the narrative is that
[39:52] we have to get away from this um
[39:55] narrative
[39:57] of just stuff. The the narrative is that
[40:01] you have to master
[40:03] you. That is where I think the whole
[40:05] book I wrote this is where I continue to
[40:08] focus more on is at the end of the day
[40:11] we'll never master ourselves also 100%
[40:13] in our lifetime but we really have to
[40:15] master ourselves what drives us what is
[40:19] my blind spot as people what are some of
[40:24] my weaknesses how should I avoid those
[40:26] things or handle them better if you
[40:30] don't master yourself well enough Then
[40:33] you will go wherever the wind blows. And
[40:36] when you're like that kind of a person,
[40:38] nobody respects you. They might be nice
[40:40] to you in your face. But you'll never be
[40:44] respected. And you will never be able to
[40:47] lead
[40:48] teams when you don't have a
[40:52] foundation. You know, when you're
[40:54] leading teams, I've led very large
[40:56] teams. You don't have to know
[40:58] everything. You don't have to be
[41:00] perfect. You don't have to be right all
[41:01] the time. None of
[41:03] that. You just have to show up as you
[41:07] who is confident in you and you have to
[41:11] be confident to say I don't know these
[41:13] things but I know this thing. I can help
[41:16] you here but I can help you here. You
[41:18] ever heard Greg Rochelle? There's a and
[41:22] he's a pastor but he's also a leadership
[41:23] person. He does leadership personality.
[41:25] I love his saying. He says it's better
[41:27] to be a leader that's always real than a
[41:29] leader that's always right. And I like
[41:31] Yeah. just sit right. You want to be
[41:33] authentically you and be honest and
[41:35] transparent.
[41:37] I mean again part of being leadership
[41:40] leadership is a Did I lose you? Uh
[41:43] leadership is a thankless job. Yeah.
[41:45] Okay. And it's also a job where you have
[41:49] to want it. It's not the comfort zone.
[41:53] If you want to be a leader who wants
[41:55] comfort, then just sit at home. Okay.
[42:01] leadership starts where comfort really
[42:05] ends and then you do things because part
[42:09] you know fortunately you know in the
[42:11] world there's no one definition of
[42:12] leadership that is a wonderful thing
[42:15] because if that was the case a lot of
[42:19] people will get rejected like for
[42:21] example this is a very pet peeve of
[42:24] mine executive
[42:26] presence you know how many people
[42:28] probably have been discriminated against
[42:31] because of that pro through words
[42:33] executive presence. I mean millions of
[42:37] people around the world have been
[42:38] probably discriminated against because
[42:41] in somebody's eyes you are not the right
[42:45] color. You don't have the right hair.
[42:46] You don't have the right suit. You don't
[42:48] have the right shirt. You don't have the
[42:49] right
[42:51] I
[42:53] understand. To me it's not the executive
[42:56] presence. Presence is important. Can you
[42:59] be
[43:00] present? If I am with you, can I be
[43:04] present with you in all of my senses?
[43:08] With all of my senses, not just my eyes,
[43:11] all of my senses out there connecting
[43:14] with you. To me, that is so much more
[43:16] important than any executive presence
[43:18] somebody can have. Cuz there's a lot of
[43:20] executive presence is
[43:22] all fake. As the people say, fake it
[43:26] till you make it is one of the worst
[43:27] advice anybody gave anybody. To me, that
[43:30] is like pouring a gasoline on a fire
[43:35] because you're not really giving them a
[43:38] honest advice. You're telling them don't
[43:41] dig hard. Don't dig deep inside of you
[43:43] to figure out how to do something or how
[43:46] who you want to be. You're simply saying
[43:48] fake it. Fake it. And somehow another
[43:51] that's a wonderful advice by a lot of
[43:53] people. I personally think it's the
[43:55] worst advice you can give somebody to
[43:58] say fake it don't fake it fail learn
[44:02] faith learn whatever whatever it takes
[44:05] again
[44:07] outcome one of the big thing I write in
[44:10] the book and things that I've learned in
[44:12] my life and there's a lot of research
[44:13] behind it as
[44:15] well when we start to make
[44:19] decisions decoupling it from the outcome
[44:22] without worrying too much about the
[44:24] out. That's when we develop what I call
[44:27] the element of faith in self and it
[44:30] opens up the possibilities of life and
[44:32] experiences of life because then I don't
[44:36] know if I'm taking these five steps. I
[44:39] don't know exactly what the outcome is.
[44:41] Maybe I'll like it, maybe I'll not. Or
[44:43] maybe I'll get an outcome that I never
[44:45] thought about and that opens my eyes to
[44:48] something new, something exciting.
[44:51] So you will see that a lot of people who
[44:54] are good decision makers it's a muscle
[44:56] you build time and again you keep doing
[44:58] it it opens up so much more opportunity
[45:01] for me it has opened up so many
[45:03] opportunities in life because I made
[45:06] decisions if I had not I think I'll be
[45:09] sitting in
[45:10] the zone of comfort where nothing
[45:14] happens you face but something happens
[45:18] that's a perfect that's a perfect
[45:20] transition
[45:21] because I think there's too much of that
[45:23] too much too many people I want to tie
[45:25] it into too many people are in that zone
[45:26] of comfort now
[45:28] because because of how comfortable life
[45:31] is and so a good example is people come
[45:33] to me I have a CPA they ask me for
[45:35] financial advice all the time and I some
[45:38] people come to me and say I need a
[45:39] payday loan and I'll ask them why do you
[45:42] need the payday loan and say because my
[45:45] life I just need to be able to afford
[45:46] food I need to be able to afford all
[45:47] this stuff and then if you say okay
[45:49] what's stuff is if you dug under that.
[45:51] Well, my I have a car. I have, you know,
[45:54] I have home I have to pay for like,
[45:56] well, do you really do you really need
[45:58] any of that? Like, I live without a car.
[46:00] I renting a bus and living in someone's,
[46:03] you know, my small den under like
[46:05] essentially a laundry room. Do you need
[46:07] any of that stuff? The society provides
[46:09] all this stuff for you. And so, people
[46:11] like the payday loan, I see it in people
[46:13] who have the W2 job and they want more
[46:15] and they don't really like their job,
[46:17] but they're comfortable. And so you're
[46:20] not really making a decision at that
[46:21] point. And these these people are making
[46:23] decisions. They're just kind of going
[46:24] with flow of comfort in their life. And
[46:27] sometimes you need that discomfort to
[46:29] come in to rattle things up so you can
[46:31] actually learn. And I want to also tie
[46:34] in your like executive leadership
[46:35] comment. I completely agree with you.
[46:37] It's completely unacceptable. I see it
[46:39] all the time. I can't tell you as a
[46:40] white male a lot of people when I had
[46:42] gone into corporate area say oh you'd be
[46:44] great at sales or you would be great you
[46:47] have great executive presence like no I
[46:49] don't what are you talk I what are you
[46:51] what are you talking about I'm brand new
[46:52] to this job I'm just white and American
[46:55] and grew up in California so I have the
[46:57] accent of all the movies that's it
[46:59] that's completely discriminatory and
[47:00] that's not acceptable and I met some of
[47:02] the sharpest people in the world that I
[47:04] met had completely different accents and
[47:05] skins of color to me and then it flips
[47:08] on the other side of the de Like right
[47:10] now in in Google, it's very tough as a
[47:14] white man to move up in leadership
[47:15] because there's this initiative of, oh,
[47:18] if there's a female or any other
[47:20] ethnicity, how can he how can he move
[47:22] up? Uh, but then you get this flip side
[47:24] of all of my bosses are blonde,
[47:26] blue-eyed females. Every my boss, my
[47:29] boss's boss, my boss's boss's boss, and
[47:31] they'll make jokes in black rooms of
[47:32] like, is this really DEI? out if it's
[47:35] out of this diversification. We're all
[47:36] blonde eyed, blue uh blue-eyed, blonde
[47:39] females. So I I think the importance of
[47:41] words here is so so key. And so I want
[47:45] to I want to all that, but we don't have
[47:46] a lot of time. So I want to talk about
[47:48] transitioning through learning through
[47:50] failure. I want to talk about your book
[47:52] like now you you went through this place
[47:54] where you didn't have the job and now
[47:57] you use that to forward to writing this
[48:01] book. And I'd love it on your shelf back
[48:02] there. I don't know if you could show it
[48:03] to the camera a little closer and then
[48:05] just kind of talk through what people
[48:08] will learn by reading this book and just
[48:10] a little bit about it a plug for it and
[48:12] anyone who's watching this video please
[48:13] read it um I it's it's in my cart
[48:16] honestly I have it ready but it's one of
[48:17] the top to-dos and I'm really excited to
[48:20] especially after this conversation so
[48:21] I'd love for you to talk about it a
[48:22] little and people can learn where people
[48:24] can learn more about you.
[48:27] So I think the the I think it's
[48:30] important to understand why I wrote the
[48:32] book because why is always important. So
[48:36] for years people asked me I'll be
[48:37] traveling airport capture shops people
[48:41] said you need to write a book and I just
[48:44] never thought about it because it is a
[48:47] common
[48:49] um theme among all of us that what we
[48:51] know like you're a
[48:53] CPA you know you take it for granted a
[48:55] lot of the stuff you know it's like you
[48:57] know it
[49:00] somebody else may see it as a really
[49:01] powerful thing that they wish they knew
[49:05] But you don't look at it David to say oh
[49:07] this is really important and so that's
[49:09] what happened to me. I think a lot of
[49:10] the time people say hey you do this very
[49:12] well you do that well why don't you
[49:14] write a book and I just said thank you
[49:17] very much but never thought about it but
[49:20] um couple of things happened um and this
[49:24] is not
[49:25] about although in the environment we are
[49:28] in the country I think it's very
[49:29] political very divisive
[49:32] um but I grew up I've worked in 15
[49:35] different countries I've worked with
[49:36] people from 80 different countries I
[49:38] managed teams 2,000 plus people. Um, so
[49:42] I've had this privilege and opportunity
[49:44] in life to really work in a very diverse
[49:47] environments and I've always enjoyed it.
[49:50] Like I excel in that environment and
[49:53] coming to America, one of the biggest
[49:55] challenge I had was that I still have a
[49:58] problem saying white and black because I
[50:01] think that is so narrowminded to think
[50:04] about human being as just black and
[50:07] white. Um and I recently read a book
[50:10] called um whistling vivaldi and other
[50:14] stereotype and how they impact us by
[50:16] claude steel is one of the book
[50:19] everybody should read because people
[50:21] have gotten it so
[50:23] wrong everybody doesn't matter your
[50:26] color background language skills blah
[50:29] blah
[50:30] blah everybody has some sort of a
[50:33] stereotype given the environment so if I
[50:36] put you in a group. If try put you in a
[50:40] group of people who don't know how to
[50:41] play guitar or they are absolute experts
[50:44] in guitar and you are you know just
[50:48] starting out you might have a little bit
[50:51] of inferiority complex there to say oh
[50:53] my lord these people are just way above
[50:55] me and I'm not there and in that moment
[50:58] if I accentuate that part of your
[51:02] mindset that you're not that good it'll
[51:05] take you 10 20 years to be where these
[51:08] guys are and if you internalize that you
[51:11] are not going to make progress. But if
[51:13] you came to that room and I said Dwan
[51:16] you are in the best place that you could
[51:19] be at this moment because you are among
[51:21] best of the best and they are the best
[51:24] in teaching you and this is a place
[51:26] where you can go from zero to 100 in no
[51:29] time. Even if you didn't have the right
[51:31] skill, you will put the effort to get
[51:34] there because this is where you don't
[51:36] not thinking about your lack of
[51:38] something but thinking of the
[51:40] possibilities of what can happen. This
[51:43] is what we do to each other. Whether
[51:46] it's black, white, brown, we are judging
[51:48] people. Hey, you are an Indian guy, you
[51:50] must be in IT. You are from South
[51:52] Africa, you must be a accountant. You
[51:55] are from XYZ, you must be this. or we
[51:59] don't learn about each other. We are
[52:01] just so in this book I think everybody
[52:04] should read this book. He talks about a
[52:06] lot of studies done to showcase how
[52:09] stereotypes are affecting all of us. So
[52:12] long story short, right? Donald Trump
[52:16] was
[52:18] um being um you know he announced his
[52:21] presidency and he said that day what he
[52:24] said that didn't sit well with me when
[52:27] he said that immigrants are
[52:30] XYZ then I was very upset knowing well
[52:35] that I know a bunch of people around the
[52:37] country
[52:39] myself and I don't relate to any of
[52:42] those things. Uh but then I went back to
[52:46] my core to say you should never do
[52:48] anything with anger or hatred. So I let
[52:52] that go. But then when he got elected,
[52:55] somebody put a flag behind the house of
[52:57] a family in my neighborhood from
[52:59] Bulgaria to say go back to where you're
[53:01] paying for. And then my daughter came
[53:04] from school and said, "Dad, do we have
[53:05] to leave?" When those two events
[53:09] coincided at the dining
[53:12] table, I was like, I want to write
[53:16] something. It may not change the mind of
[53:19] the whole world, but at least whoever
[53:21] reads the book hopefully
[53:23] will think
[53:25] differently because we need context to
[53:29] every there's a lot of noise about
[53:30] everything. So that and then I took a
[53:34] public speaking class from a lady called
[53:36] Lisa
[53:37] Nichols. Absolutely loved it. And she
[53:40] gave us the first assignment. Write
[53:43] every bullet point. And this is a good
[53:45] good um feedback for anybody who's
[53:48] thinking you're writing a book. Write
[53:51] bullet points, not paragraphs, about
[53:53] every event in your life, good, bad,
[53:55] ugly, that you can speak about or write
[53:57] about. That night I wrote 165 bullet
[54:01] points in one sitting. Absolutely no
[54:04] distraction. I was totally clear. I just
[54:06] wrote it. That became the outline for
[54:09] the
[54:11] book. And 3 years later the book was
[54:14] published. So when you read this book,
[54:16] this book is a I'm not preaching to
[54:19] anybody what to do. You will decide what
[54:21] you have to do in your life. All I'm
[54:23] sharing here is one person's journey. My
[54:26] story is not important than yours. one
[54:28] person's
[54:29] journey of
[54:31] life and ups and downs of lives, how I
[54:35] handled it. Hopefully through the thread
[54:38] of these stories, you will see your own
[54:40] story within it and pick and choose what
[54:43] works for you. And each chapter ends
[54:46] with what I call the university of life
[54:48] lessons. So whether it's value your
[54:51] village or make decisions, things like
[54:54] that. And and at the end of the day, I
[54:58] want people to read this book and say,
[55:00] I'm not going to give up on whatever it
[55:02] is that I want to do in life. I don't
[55:05] want people give up too
[55:07] fast. And this is part of my journey.
[55:10] I'm I'm 58 and I still think like a 18
[55:12] year old. I don't want to stop. I have
[55:16] so many things I want to do in life.
[55:18] Even
[55:18] today, I want that fire in people's
[55:21] belly. I want to lit this fire in
[55:24] people's belly that I have so many
[55:26] things to do in the world and not just
[55:27] for me not to just accumulate stuff,
[55:31] accumulate experiences, accumulate
[55:33] impact. Those are the things that excite
[55:36] me. And so hopefully when you read the
[55:38] book you are able to find your own
[55:42] things to go after but always thinking
[55:46] from the goodness of the world, goodness
[55:49] of others, not just about you. That's
[55:53] the whole gist of my and it's life and
[55:55] leadership lessons from experience and
[55:58] not theory.
[56:00] Well then I love it. Thank you for
[56:01] sharing. I can't wait. I'm going to buy
[56:02] a few copies. I always do this,
[56:04] especially Verdon. I'm going to buy a
[56:05] few and I give some to my coaching
[56:07] clients. And so, I'm going to make sure
[56:08] I do that. If anyone watching this is
[56:10] interested in it, I'll make sure I put
[56:12] the links below and maybe the first five
[56:14] people who comment on it, I'll buy a
[56:16] free book from them. I would love to buy
[56:17] and support your cause. Ry, I would love
[56:19] to talk to you more. Hopefully, we can
[56:20] find it. Maybe we get a speak together
[56:22] sometime. I think that'd be really fun.
[56:23] There's a lot of overlap. And if there's
[56:25] anything else I can do to support your
[56:27] journey, it's inspiring to me and it's
[56:29] pleasure to talk to you.
[56:31] If anybody wants to go, they can go to
[56:35] my website. It's journeywithravi.com.
[56:39] Journey with Ravi very simple to
[56:42] remember.com go there anytime if I can
[56:45] be of any help you can reach out to me
[56:47] and there is an email there
[56:51] raviashyousuffer.com suffer as in this
[56:54] word suffer safer.com
[56:58] so thank you yeah thank you so much and
[57:00] yeah best of luck keep me posted
[57:02] hopefully back yan and hear how it all
[57:04] goes over the next year we will thank
[57:06] you so much thank you byebye